what a day!

I couldn't sleep again last night. I managed to sleep at 6:30 am and woke up at midday. I really must break this habit. Back to work on Tuesday (thank God for easter weekend!)

Bad day today. Just filled with negative energy altogether. I was hungry - I haven't slept properly. I was feeling a little dejected and homesick.

I miss home. I haven't been home for a few months. Sure I stayed for a couple of nights but not long enough to say I was really home.

Something hit me today - and it really disturbed me. This is not my home. i could never really feel at home here... I don't have the authority or the power to do what I need to do and to really be myself.

I don't mind sharing the house but I know that this is not my home and if it's going to work between myself and my partner - we need to move from here. We need to start our life in our own space so we can both adjust to living away from home and not be homesick.

He doesn't get it because he is home. I feel bad that I feel homesick because I should be okay right.

But i'm homesick. I miss my mum. I miss my mums cooking. I miss the smell.. the sound.. the way things are at home.

Ah.

I need to spend some time home.